10 tips for keeping your toys in a fuckable fashion.

BLOG WRITTEN BY :ThanusDestroyer

Like any form of responsible ownership, maintenance is key to the longevity of the owned item. So, in the spirit of happy fapping, here is some guidance on how to properly look after your toys, particularly those nice MRL one’s, if you’ve nabbed one.

Here are 10 helpful tips to look after your male sex toys:

1) Dry them out!

This is number one for a critical fucking reason – you don’t want a dick infection. Now, that’s rather unlikely, but should develop a bad habit of not drying your toys properly, there’s an opportunity for mould to develop. The best way to avoid this, is to use a small sponge on a stick, or use drying sticks (included with MRL toys) I usually use two and let them sit for a day or two. Just bear in mind, after a while the sticks also need drying too. (You can do that in the microwave, radiator or even an oven! Just do it on a low heat.) If the sticks break (like all mine) no biggy, just soften away any sharp edges or debris.

Just be careful with whatever you use to dry your toys with, I used to use rolled-up flannels. It dried them out, but damaged the holes of my older toys. Be gentle, she’s only little.

In case you were curious, air drying does absolutely fuck all.

2) Wash your toys – but properly.

Yes, there is a right way. Not to scaremonger again, but using soap is actually a trigger for mould growth, so just use water. But here’s a trick, wait a while after using the toy to clean it. Wash with COLD water. If you do it right away with warm water, the spunk turns to glue.

Give it an under-the-tap rinse, then wash thoroughly by getting your thumb in the bitch and rubbing up and down, left and right. Once you’re certain you can’t feel any slimy shit, you’re likely in the clear, but go a bit longer. Then let drip-dry a bit before (gently) ramming a drying stick up her coochie.

3) Use lube, regardless of your size.

Big or small, you’ll be expanding the entrance of the channel, which can stress the material – particularly on smaller toys. Water won’t help you here, it actually creates more friction. It’s also possible to split the entrances on toy if you’re not careful when washing.

Using lube sounds like perhaps less enjoyment, but this is simply not the case. Find the right amount for you, but make sure you’re covering yourself. Try to avoid silicone-based lubes, water based is usually best. There are lots to try! If you go for a long time (girls like that) then make sure to keep topped up during play, but good lube will generally hold.

4) Keep all your toy’s packaging!

“Huh? I don’t need this anymore?” Wrong! False! Gollum! 

There are several benefits to keeping it. For starters, DON’T PUT YOUR TOYS NEXT TO EACHOTHER. If you’re a collector, like me, toys go in a draw, together. If they touch for a period, the silicone can begin to disintegrate, fuse, or just generally fuck up. Using the box, or even the plastic bag they come in, really helps to keep their hands off each other.

Also, the box will usually come with silica gel/pouch. DON’T EAT IT. Store it with your toys to help keep them dry. In fact, just keep all the silica you can get your hands on, you’re a hoarder now.

Plus, if you have the box, it makes it a tad secret, even if it takes up more room.

You still reading? Good boy. Use this code “MRLClean-z6ctqla100” to get this comic for free.

5) Check regularly and deal with mould, fast.

If you have a close-ended toy (i.e., one entrance) it is significantly harder to check for black spots. You need to check often, even if you form a good washing/drying routine – although that’ll be just for precaution. I used a flashlight (no, not Fleshlight) to illuminate the inside, from the outside. The glowing helps you see without shadows being cast from shining light straight in.

If mould has developed, the toys can be saved. I found that you can boil the toys, and then use a very diluted bleach solution to soak and clean the spots away. Just wash very, very thoroughly after and dry out. Like nun dry. If still there, rinse and repeat (without the boiling, probably done the hard work there.)

Sort of an aside here, but if you’re thinking or getting a toy with a dual material inside, don’t fucking bother. Not to cast aspirations at certain popular manufacturer with *cough* magical looking *cough* eyes *cough* but those pink materials on the inside break and peel off, no matter what. You’ll be left with an untextured, straight sleeve that has zero fucks to give.

6) If your toy has clothing, take it off when not using it.

Not a common problem, but if you’ve ever bought a sex doll, or a toy like Yukiko, Ling, or the new Ivy from MRL, they often come with clothing. If they get a smidge wet, or are on the toy for a long time, they’ll transfer colour and stain the silicone.

The clothing really enhances the whole deal, so totally worth using, but when the post-nut-clarity has kicked in, remember to undress her. Kinda reverse-think.

1) If you develop a split or hole, not all is lost.

Guess what? Glue exists! You can get special silicone-adhering glues – just make sure they are food safe! They’re not always a 100% effective, and application requires a lot of trial and error, but it can be very good for plugging small holes, or reforming entrances. And the glue should also be waterproof and clear. Just don’t use too much, or it’ll pull off. No, not pull you off. Also, make sure the glue container itself doesn’t dry out by keeping it sealed tight.

2) Renew powder is a lie!

You’ll notice after a couple of cleans that the silicone feels a little tacky. Not silky smooth like before. Why? If you cast your mind back, there was likely some powdery substance coating the wrapper. That’s the renew powder.

Applying that in volume helps to soften the toy and make it feel beautiful. But it costs money, and you don’t get a lot. Guess what 95% of it is? CORNFLOUR! (Maybe ya’ll call it corn-starch?) Tou can buy it by the boatload for sod all. I don’t believe using has any real benefit beyond external feeling, but it can’t hurt. Just be careful – that shit gets EVERYWHERE!

3) Watch out for air pressure.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume you’ve used a condom? Good. Well, when using a closed-ended toy, you ought to squeeze the top-most part of the channel, furthest from your cock, when entering – like said condom. This helps to prevent bubbles forming inside. These bubbles, when thrusted repeatedly, can either cause the toy to come off your dick, feel loose, or in extreme situations, create small holes. The air’s got to go somewhere after all.

4)  Get a few of the buggers.

Whilst it might seem like a bit of an obvious up-sell, having a collection of toys helps you establish a rotation. I know many people won’t want to get loads of expensive toys, but by purchasing a few – even cheap ones – it will allow the previously used ones to rest for cleaning and drying. If you’re like me, you spend a lot of time in horny jail. Using the same toy everyday would likely end its life quicker. By having a few more, you’ll expand all their lifetimes in kind. Even a cheap egg will do the trick, whilst your main squeeze is in cooldown.

There you go! 10 things to help you look after your fap hole(s). These will become instinctual after a while, and you won’t have to remember all of this.

I hope you’ve picked up on a lot of my personal experience. Perhaps it will help you avoid the same mistakes I did – there isn’t really a manual for such things.

Male sex toys have come a long way in a short time, and MRL’s really been innovating here, so I can’t help but sing their praises. However, whatever toy you use, it’s damn better for you than Pamela Handerson. Remember that caring for things is sexy, and the longer you care for it, the longer it can be sexy for you in return.

If you want a metric-shit-load of naughty 3D images to look at whilst you use your toys, don’t forget to subscribe to ThanusDestroyer on Gumroad, or DeviantArt! Or follow me on any of these platforms for free previews.

Love
-TD